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Intimacy Intensifies in Womens Second Adulthood

Womens eNews - Sat, 7 Jan 2012 17:54 GMT
Author: Womens eNews
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Recalibrated Love I love my husband with more tolerance. I love my children with less need to make everything work out for them. I love my mother with more understanding. I love my friends with more--everything, especially trust and gratitude. And, oh, yes, I love me--sort of; which is to say I give myself a little more appreciation and a lot more slack. I don't love everyone in the whole world, nor do I want to be loved by all of them. We are continuing to invent our lives as we go along. We are rewriting the rules of the game, in the game of love as much as anywhere else. No other generation of women has had such an open field to play in--the prospect of more healthy years ahead than our mothers and grandmothers. Moreover, those additional years are a midlife gift, not an add-on at the end. Gerontologist Laura Carstensen suggests that it is more accurate to see the newfound block of time coming at the middle--from roughly age 50 to age 75. That is the dynamic, rich and rewarding stage I call Second Adulthood. It is a time of self-discovery and adventure as well as confusion and fear, but as we review and revise the many aspects of our lives, we find that, among other things we are capable of now, we are finally old enough to know what love is--or can be.

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